The CNN shirt

My wife pointed out to me this morning the oddity that is the CNN Shirt website. Though I occasionally go to CNN to check on headlines, I had never noticed this feature before. 

"Apparently, this is something new," she said. 

So, I went on over to CNN.com. And, there it was, almost unnoticed within the camouflage of mini-camera icons and bullet markers: a little, white shirt icon hovering next to the headline "Woman pays off $30K debt in 15 months." I clicked on it and was brought to a sub-site, where, sure enough, there was a picture of a black t-shirt with the "$30K" headline plastered across the chest, along with the CNN logo and the phrase "I saw it on CNN.com."

Now, I can only think of one person who would want this t-shirt. I don't know her personally, mind you, but I've read about her. From what I've heard, she just paid off a $30K debt. In 15 months.

Honestly, who, other than the person mentioned in these articles, would want these t-shirts?

Yes, the prophecy has been realized. CNN and the Weekly World News are now in the same racket. Though, to be honest, I'd much rather have a "UFO alien backs Obama" shirt than one that reads "John Lennon doodles go on display."

I explored a bit further. Clicking on the "other shirts" tab brought me to the list of all shirts created thus far for the month of October. Now, I could understand if there was a shirt that contained a historic headline. But . . . there wasn't. No, you don't get anything of substance. Just gem headlines like "TV host's guest looks exactly like her" and "Police chase naked driver." 

And these could be yours for only $15 each (plus shipping and handling). 

Remember, the holidays are just around the corner . . .

The "most popular" tab reveals that, outside of a few political headlines (some of which, I will admit, are valid, t-shirt-worthy headlines), the most sought-after shirts contain the following award-winning vernaculars:

"Zebra turns up inside campus building"

"Anderson Cooper, 'you're not my boo'"

"Asian women seek white, groveling men"

"1 in 3 workers hung over at the office"

and

"Air guitarist loses toe in stage dive"

Ah, yes, the great stage-diving incident of '08 that we'll be writing novels and popular fiction tomes about for the next hundred years. I remember it well . . .

Anyway, if you're interested in any of these lovely items, feel free to visit the extremely strange CNN Shirt site. You can find it over here. Or, just look for the tiny shirt next to the least important headline on CNN.com.

The Hartford Half Marathon: fun, pain, and a bag of junk

Saturday, October 11th, brought the 15th annual Hartford Marathon to our fair capital. And, since today is Sunday, October 12th, all signs point to myself having survived the festivities.

This is not to imply, dear reader, that I completed the full marathon. Oh no. I partook in the hosted half marathon, along with a sell-out number of runners (3,500, though only a little more than 3,100 completed the event and had their times recorded). Packed like sardines for the first few miles, we made our way around Bushnell Park, over Founder's Bridge, around East Hartford, back over Founder's Bridge, through downtown, over to Park Street, and eventually back to Bushnell. It was certainly an interesting way to get a tour of the city, seeing as I still hadn't explored Hartford since arriving in the state late this summer.

I ran with my uncle and good friend. We lost my friend shortly after the 7 mile water stand, but my uncle and I stuck together until about mile 12, when the mad dash to finish took place. I didn't set a personal record yesterday (I finished at 2:02), but I had a fun time getting from Point A to Point B. And, now that the event is over, I can let my sore hip, hurt about 6 weeks ago (thanks to one of the BEST drivers in West Hartford failing to stop for pedestrians at a crosswalk) and throbbing by mile 10, heal itself properly. Though, to be quite honest, I don't know if I can lay off the running for the week needed to rest.

So, congratulations to all the runners, from the 5k to the marathon to my brethren in the half. Just completing these runs are accomplishments and everyone involved should be proud. Now, enjoy your just desserts. Have a big bowl of ice cream. Order a big, juicy hamburger. You've all earned it!

Oh, and, for those attending and not running yesterday, thanks for all of the support. Your cheering really motivated all of us on the road. And, a special thanks to the folks that volunteered, manned the water stations, and provided course music and entertainment (and, "officer-dancing-to-'Bust a Move'," that especially applies to you).

A final note . . .

Non-participants may have noticed a sea of orange bags carried by runners before and after the race. What was inside? To be honest, mostly items filling many recycling bins this week. Lots of ads from sponsors. A few coupons. Some lip balm. A pen. A can cozy. A full page ad from McDonald's touting healthy foods and quality products (whaaaa?). Some sunscreen. Nothing very exciting, so you didn't miss all that much.

That's it. We went, we saw, we ran. And, after some ice packs and Advil (and, for me, 7 days of scheduled rest), we'll be ready to do it again.

My own "Mary Worth," part three

It's the night before Toby's big bank robbery! And, in part three of Ben's Mary Worth, we see the anxiety of the evening as our heroine tries to get some sleep!

Click to enlarge for easy reading!

Great "Wheel of Fortune" moments

The Professor and I were talking about old episodes of Wheel of Fortune the other day, back when the winners got shop with their prize money at a gallery of often very-expensive products (like an $875.00 VCR). 

Anyway, this got me to hunting for video of really bad Wheel contestants. People that just couldn't solve the puzzle, even when it was right in front of their face, plain as day.

Here are a few examples of my findings:

And, to top it off, there's this gentleman, who didn't get stumped once, not twice, but THREE times:

West Hartford real estate agents, beware . . .

Allegedly, folks (and, by "folks," I mean one individual . . . so far) in town are lacing their cakes with poison! And, they're then serving said cake to their real estate agents!

I've heard the old Halloween story of getting an apple with a razor blade in it, but this is ridiculous.

So, beware, real estate agents. Make sure you carry your NAR-certified "poison identifying kit" with you at all times! Sure, it seemed silly to you when it was issued, but now you can all thank your lucky stars for the thoroughness of the organization.

Of course, I'm kidding about the kit. Just don't take cake from strangers.

Read on about this odd story at courant.com. 

Tomorrow: Hartford Marathon

Looking for something to do tomorrow morning at 8AM? Then head over to the 15th annual Hartford Marathon. The more spectators lining the route and cheering runners on, the better. I'll be participating in the Half Marathon portion with my friend and uncle. You'll be able to pick me out by the following description:

I'll be the guy wheezing and begging for a water station.

Anyway, it should be a fun event for everyone. And, after the race, there's a big party in Bushnell Park with a ton of vendors (I'm personally looking forward to the Harpoon tent). The weather is going to be great, so get outside and support your neighbors!

For more information, visit the marathon's website here. 

My own "Mary Worth," part two

Here's part two of my ode to Mary Worth. Click the comic to make it larger.

A bibbi-babka interlude

While making dinner tonight, the Professor and I, for reasons unknown, began to sing the "Bibbi-Babka" song from our childhood ABC television staple Perfect Strangers. This lead to a hunt online for the actual video of the song, sung by cousins Larry and Balki. To our joy, it was not difficult to find. 

However, while watching our treasured "Bibby-Babka" clip, we realized how unfunny Perfect Strangers actually was. Hearing the audience cackle made me wonder how many drinks the stage manager plied them with before letting anyone into the studio.

This is the problem with revisitation. Revisiting childhood television always leaves the viewer open for potential disappointment. For every Cosby Show, which, in my opinion, still holds up fairly well, there's a Sledge Hammer, a show I absolutely loved as a child, but couldn't stand to watch when I rented the DVD of season one.

Though tempted to watch more clips of Perfect Strangers, I decided to let my memory retain the show and characters as the version seen through the eyes of a kid twenty years ago. That's probably the only way it can continue to be enjoyable.

Okay, I did watch this MC Hammer-inspired number. Then I called it a day.