Make your Christmas a Slap Chop Christmas!

Several months ago, the Hartford Courant ran some tests on the "miracle" product known to the world as the ShamWow! Unsurprisingly, the cloth was a bit more "sham" than "wow." 

Well, these critiques didn't slow down Vince Offer, the ShamWow! pitchman, from plowing forward. Yes, Vince is back with a new must-have contraption. It is the Slap Chop, and it will change your life.

"Slap your troubles away," he chirps into his county fair-headset as he leans into the camera. "Stop having a boring life!"

Life improvement seem to be high on Offer's list, for he also says that, with the Slap Chop, "you're gonna have an exciting life" and that "life's hard enough as it is. You don't want to cry anymore!"

Wait, is Vince now a therapist, too?

Oddly, Offer seems to be hitting on all cylinders in this short infomercial. Mispronouncing pasta (it's not "freducinni," Vince), promising that the Slap Chop will make America skinny, laying goofy sound effects over the tossing of a competitors product, making testicle jokes; the man is throwing everything he has at the wall with this one.

Here's the abbreviated version of the Slap Chop infomercial:

I wonder if those who are somehow charmed by Offer's technique would still be interested in his products if they knew about his past as the director of the Underground Comedy Movie? Remember those late night informercial ads? You know, the ones that claimed the video to be "guaranteed to offend?" 

Here is an excerpt from the New York Times review of Offer's movie: 

. . . Vince Offer, who accepts responsibility for this wretched film by arrogating the writer's and director's credits, makes the common mistake of equating the recognition of comic potential for comedy itself. For the successful, talent bridges the gap, but here it is absent.

Ah, Vince, what a strange life you must lead. At least you have your Slap Chop. Just keep slapping those troubles away, right?