The CNN shirt

My wife pointed out to me this morning the oddity that is the CNN Shirt website. Though I occasionally go to CNN to check on headlines, I had never noticed this feature before. 

"Apparently, this is something new," she said. 

So, I went on over to CNN.com. And, there it was, almost unnoticed within the camouflage of mini-camera icons and bullet markers: a little, white shirt icon hovering next to the headline "Woman pays off $30K debt in 15 months." I clicked on it and was brought to a sub-site, where, sure enough, there was a picture of a black t-shirt with the "$30K" headline plastered across the chest, along with the CNN logo and the phrase "I saw it on CNN.com."

Now, I can only think of one person who would want this t-shirt. I don't know her personally, mind you, but I've read about her. From what I've heard, she just paid off a $30K debt. In 15 months.

Honestly, who, other than the person mentioned in these articles, would want these t-shirts?

Yes, the prophecy has been realized. CNN and the Weekly World News are now in the same racket. Though, to be honest, I'd much rather have a "UFO alien backs Obama" shirt than one that reads "John Lennon doodles go on display."

I explored a bit further. Clicking on the "other shirts" tab brought me to the list of all shirts created thus far for the month of October. Now, I could understand if there was a shirt that contained a historic headline. But . . . there wasn't. No, you don't get anything of substance. Just gem headlines like "TV host's guest looks exactly like her" and "Police chase naked driver." 

And these could be yours for only $15 each (plus shipping and handling). 

Remember, the holidays are just around the corner . . .

The "most popular" tab reveals that, outside of a few political headlines (some of which, I will admit, are valid, t-shirt-worthy headlines), the most sought-after shirts contain the following award-winning vernaculars:

"Zebra turns up inside campus building"

"Anderson Cooper, 'you're not my boo'"

"Asian women seek white, groveling men"

"1 in 3 workers hung over at the office"

and

"Air guitarist loses toe in stage dive"

Ah, yes, the great stage-diving incident of '08 that we'll be writing novels and popular fiction tomes about for the next hundred years. I remember it well . . .

Anyway, if you're interested in any of these lovely items, feel free to visit the extremely strange CNN Shirt site. You can find it over here. Or, just look for the tiny shirt next to the least important headline on CNN.com.