My own "Mary Worth"

I've gone on and on about how much I think Mary Worth is the dullest comic strip on the planet. 

So, I decided to do something about it, a little "putting my money where my mouth is," if you will.

I present to you Ben's Mary Worth (part one of a potential series). Click to make it bigger:

Though this may seem obvious, let me state that this is meant as a parody, and in no way is associated with the actual Mary Worth. I did use the original artwork. However, the words are my own.