About that final night . . .

I am sore and tired, but I have moved. The Professor and I slept in total silence last night. We almost didn't know what to do with ourselves.

Because I've been packing and moving, I can't say I've really been out and about "observing" many things lately, but I did want to share with you a little tale about the final night I spent in my old apartment.

It began that afternoon. The Prof and I had brought one final carload of stuff to our new digs, and as we pulled into our old driveway, we saw the Emperor, our upstairs neighbor, carrying stacks of cardboard boxes out to the garbage.

"Spring cleaning?" I asked him.

"I have to clean. My girlfriend is going to move in with me."

Immediately, I rejoiced in the fact that I would no longer be living below him. See, the Emperor's girlfriend is a heel lover. She wears them every single time she visits, including when they go to bed.

And, although I wanted to reply, "Thank GOD I'm moving," I held my tongue and went inside.

Jump to 10:15PM. The Prof and I decided to head to bed to get some extra rest for the big move day. As we were slipping under the covers, we heard the sound of a truck. I looked out the window. It was the Emperor with a U-Haul.

Then the sound of heels from overhead rained down.

When he told me that his girlfriend was moving in while we stood over at the garbage cans, the Emperor forgot to end the phrase "in about four hours."

So, from about 10:30 to 12:30, we heard Heely and Emperor march UP the stairs with boxes, then DOWN the stairs to get more. Oh, and it was raining, so they were constantly stomping on the carpets in the stairwell to, apparently, dry their feet.

After the first hour of tossing and turning, the Professor got up and went into the living room to watch television. I followed. She ended up pulling the cushions off of a chair and curling up with them on the floor. I laid down on the couch.

We ended up sleeping there all night. At one point, probably about 1AM, we heard the Emperor starting the U-Haul up and driving away. Of course, the Heelinator stayed behind and continued to, I can only gather, move furniture above us.

And that's going to be my final memory of that place. Crashing on the couch with the television singing an infomercial lullaby. Sleeping about 4 hours before getting up to get my own U-Haul.

I pity the poor fool who is the next to live there.