Friday, August 15, 2008

I am a trailing spouse . . .

It has been over one month since I last sat at a desk in an office and worked. Almost three weeks since I was on a company payroll, thanks to paid vacation time. This is something that has been a long time coming.  

I am a trailing spouse.

Bucking statistics, I am also a man.

By definition, a trailing spouse is an individual who leaves their job in order to relocate with their partner, typically because of that partner's career. Oftentimes the trailing spouse ends up making less money because of this, either due to less-than-ideal employment options or lack of employment altogether. But they do it because they're committed to their partner and because their partner has received a position that they really want. And, traditionally, most trailing spouses are women.

I'm helping lower that percentage a bit.

This Spring, my wife accepted a position teaching at a college in Connecticut. She had been in grad school since we moved in together in 2000, with the goal of attaining a Ph.D. in American History. We always knew that, one day, she'd finish and we would end up wherever she found a job. This could have been anywhere, so Connecticut seemed to be a bit of a blessing when all was said and done. It wasn't more than an hour and a half from our old stomping grounds in Boston. Plus, I wasn't married to my job, working in the film industry, and figured I'd find something wherever we ended up. Just in case, we saved a bit to help tide us over in case I didn't find work right away.  

That, it turns out, was a smart move. A small army of resumes litter the inboxes and mailboxes of employers across the state, but I have yet to hear back anything positive.  

So, I try to keep busy. I run. I try to learn the lay of the land in my new neighborhood in West Hartford. I stare at employment websites. I finish unpacking and find resting places for all of the little things that have accumulated over the years. And now I write on this blog, even though I hate the word "blog." It helps keep me sane and away from indeed.com for a little while, and that's definitely a good thing.

And that's the way it is right now. If there are other trailing spouses out there reading, feel free to drop me a line. Until then, hopefully I stumble across a few things that help your days pass.   

1 comment:

Judo For Make Love said...

Don't worry, Ben. Take it E-ZAY for a year or two. Let the jobs come to you, mon! Catch up on your Dickens. Work on your swing and lower your handicap. Put an addition on the house. Learn how to give mouth to mouth resuscitation. Become a food critic, perhaps?