A wacky salesman and an even wackier meteorologist

Today, I woke to thoughts of Dollar Bill, the host and owner of Dollar Bill's Discount World. Why? Well, back in Boston, WNDS (now WZMY), channel 50, carried a half-hour infomercial every Saturday morning in which Dollar Bill, acting as host, would guide a handheld camera through his warehouse store, a place where the products always came in massive quantities and the deals were always guaranteed to be "phenomenal." If I was up early enough, I'd make a point to tune in. Not with any plans of visiting the Discount World (in the many years of watching, I never made the drive to Derry, NH), but more for the entertaining persona that was/is Dollar Bill.

Bill was not your typical business owner. He wore a hula dress made of money. He also wore an umbrella hat covered with dreadlocks of dollars. Over the course of his 30 minute broadcast, he often shouted about nonsense, fake-humped the air, and expunged screams of ecstasy at least three or four times. Add in the fact that his program aired at 8 AM, and I had a strange way to kick off my weekend.

I'm sure the Dollar Bill show still airs every weekend, but, being in Connecticut, I can only fall back on my memories to get my Bill fix.

Though, I did find a "best of" clip of Bill in action over at YouTube, which helped sooth my wants. In the following, witness Bill as he falls a little too hard for Barbie, goes on and on about products containing bears, questions the various places one can place a vibrating cushion, and continuously crashes a toy helicopter.

As I thought about Bill, I also began to reminisce about Al Kaprielian. Al is the meteorologist at channel 50, home of DBDW, in New Hampshire. A station fixture for over 25 years, Al is probably most famous for his use of the term "hiiiiigh pressure!" and his often rambling forecasts. 

If there ever was a real life Dr. Steve Brule in this world, it would be Al.

He's become such a cult figure, he now even has his own ringtones available for download. You really need to click over here to the Channel 50/MyTV website to take a listen.

My favorite may be: "Helllooo! This is Al Kaprielian here! Answer your phone! Hellllloooo! Hellllloooo!"

Channel 50 recently posted a video celebrating Al's long and eventful career. I have embedded it below, for those not familiar with Al's skills, to provide a quarter-century's view into the life of the oddest and most entertaining meteorologist in America.

Ah, the weird and wacky TV personalities from my past. I miss 'em. 

If only there were these sort of characters down here in Connecticut. I mean, we have Good Ole Tom, but is a pawn shop ever really funny, even when the owner thinks he's some kind of prospector or cowboy or whatever that loon thinks he is? Then, there's Dr. Mel over at channel 8, but he comes across more as a grandfather than a zany personality. No, these aren't quite the same as the kooks up in New Hampshire.

Maybe we need to do a little importing, or even develop a state-to-state exchange program. Maybe we can trade Dr. Mel for Al for a week or two here and there. Or, we can throw in Good Ole Tom plus a pocketful of broken jewelry and old class rings straight up for Dollar Bill.

I think I may be onto something here . . . Someone get the governor on the phone!