Lovely tidbits from the Rollercoaster Cuts press release

I realize others have written about the new Six Flags Rollercoaster Cuts hair salon for children that is opening up here in West Hartford this weekend (yes, Six Flags, the floundering theme park chain, is taking the logical step of opening hair salons). And, to be honest, any business filling storefronts in Blue Back Square is a great thing. However, in reading the press release for Rollercoaster Cuts on Six Flag's website, I can't help but laugh. For a place to get a your tot's locks trimmed, Six Flags seems pretty excited.

Here are a few highlights (with my snarky comments italicized below):

"Rollercoaster Cuts will revolutionize the ordinary task of getting a haircut."

Thank God! If there's one thing massive amounts of money need to be sunk into to solve in this world, it's the ordinary task of getting a haircut.

"Even while shampooing, children will have the option to sit straight up in a traditional chair or lie flat on their backs watching point-of-view camera angles of Six Flags' biggest coaster drops." 

And the stylists have all come equipped with the coolest in Six Flags themed barf bags for those little rugrats who choose to watch those coaster drops.

"Customized kids salon packages like The Glammy, Zoink, Big Kapow and Blama Jama . . ." 

Now, if you were outside and asked for a Blama Jamma, you'd be getting something else altogether. 

"Every haircut will come complete with a FREE photo to capture the moment."

A FREE photo? That's why your stocks are in the toilet Six Flags! You've got to charge for those things!

Of course, I'm just trying to have a bit of fun here. I wish the best for Rollercoaster Cuts and for the stylists who are taking the brave task of dealing with small children all day long. Now, as long as Six Flags doesn't become the sponsor for the Mark Twain House, I think we'll be okay.