Things I wish you could see

Connecticut has some really horribly produced local commercials. Some, like the Fast Eddy and Good Old Tom commercials I posted a couple weeks ago, are goofy fun. But some, by God, are genuinely, and oftentimes unintentionally, hilarious.

The problem is that I can't find them online anywhere, which means I can't share them with you.

This is understandable, I suppose. If I was responsible for making these laughers, I probably wouldn't be posting them on my website, either.

But I so want to have them on this blog!

I suppose I must resort to description.

There are two that stand out. The first is for Assisted Living, Inc., a . . . wait for it . . . assisted living facility here in the state. The spot opens on Mom calling her children downstairs. The kids, typical moppet-types, come halfway down the stairs and Mom says, "We're going to visit Grandma." And the kids, in a way only television commercial children can, respond in unison, "Grandma's house! YAYYYYYYYY!" Oh, it kills me every time they say it. I can just see the director saying, "Now, this time I want you two to hold the 'yay' for four seconds. Really draw it out." 

The commercial then delves into dark and scary territory, as apparently Grandma isn't quite as spry as she used to be and has to be moved out of "Grandma's House." How will Mom explain this to the children?

I know, this description really doesn't do much, but, man, if only you could see it.

The second spot is for Porter and Chester, an occupational training school. It highlights the school's HVAC repair training program and features this guy who talks to the camera as if the viewer is a complete moron. "You like working with your hands?" he asks in the most condescending of all possible ways. He sneers as he tells you how wonderful and rewarding a career in HVAC repair is for him. There's a certain point where you almost wait for him to say "Hey dummy" before continuing on.

Here's an example of a normal Porter and Chester commercial:

Now imagine this commercial done by a surly man who thinks you're an idiot. That's pretty much what I'm talking about

Argh! I wish I could find these to post.

Though, the truth is, all was not lost in my search. While spelunking deep into the heart of YouTube, I did come across this commercial for something called Testa's Sauce. I've never witnessed it on television, but it's pretty entertaining. And, to top it off, it's from right here in Connecticut.

I could watch this guy tell his Nana how much he loves her sauce all day: