A meditation on "Johnny Be Good" (the "movie," not the song) and, of all things, Batman

Yes, I have too much time on my hands. I am fully aware of this. But, I'm feeling a little under the weather today and this is what's spiraling out of my fingers at the moment.

1988 brought to the world a little, horrible "film" (in quotes, as I'm not sure if it really qualifies as either a film or a movie) titled Johnny Be Good. The story of a star high school quarterback being lured by college recruiters, the "movie" came and went, grossing about $17 million at the box office. Being ten-years-old at the time of the Johnny's release, my original knowledge of it was not of the comedy stylings of stars Anthony Michael Hall or Robert Downey Jr., but rather of the Judas Priest cover of the title song. I was into Chuck Berry at the time, just beginning to learn the guitar, and thought the JP version of his classic was a bastardization of the song. But one of my older cousins was a huge Judas Priest fan (I won't name names), and I remember hearing the song every once in a while. 

Here's the Judas Priest cover:

Regardless, I never saw the movie, and it vanished from the cinemas, eventually ending up on VHS shelves across the country.

Fast forward twenty years. I'm sitting on the couch. I turn on the television, flip through the movie channels, and discover that Johnny Be Good is about to begin. I remember it vaguely. I notice it has received only one star.

So, I watch. 

And, like a car crash, I cannot stop staring. Johnny Be Good is one of those scripts that seem to have been fabricated as it was being filmed. Scenes run into scenes, mostly without creating any logical thread, and I begin to think that half of the movie seems ad-libbed by Anthony Michael Hall (and that isn't a compliment). I wonder to myself if Robert Downey Jr., Hall's psychotic (assumedly, as he is never developed) sidekick in the "movie,"  bothers to mention Johnny on his resume anymore, or if it is just "one of those" bad mistakes that young (and drug-fueled) actors make? And poor Uma Thurman. Her big screen debut and her character is a total non-sequitur, one minute in love with Johnny, then hating the guy, then loving him, saying lines that occasionally reflect on the plot, then flying off the handle and throwing raw chicken. For a first gig, it couldn't have been a great experience.

But, as I'm torturing myself with Johnny Be Good, I begin to notice a relationship this "movie" has with quite possible the biggest film franchise character in the world. Yup, Batman. It started when I read a recent quote by Robert Downey Jr. After starring in Iron Man, Downey Jr. went on a rant about the most recent film in the Batman franchise, The Dark Knight, saying:

"My whole thing is that I saw The Dark Knight. I feel like I'm dumb because I feel like I don't get how many things that are so smart . . . and I'm like, 'That's not my idea of what I want to see in a movie.'"

Now, of course, this is just a reference to Batman, coming (in not the clearest of ways) from a guy starring in a competing comic book film. He talked trash. So be it.

But this brings us to the other two leads of Johnny Be Good. Anthony Michael Hall, Mr. Johnny Walker himself, has a role in The Dark Knight as television reporter Mike Engel. And Uma Thurman. She was Poison Ivy in the Batsuit-with-nipples catastrophe that was Batman & Robin.

The connections don't stop there. The great character actor Seymour Cassel, who played sinister college recruiter Wallace Gibson in Johnny Be Good, had a small role as a henchman named Cancelled on the Batman television series from the 1960s. And Michael Greene, Tex in JBG, was a henchman named Matches on the show. Here's Cassel in action:

 

    

According to IMDB, Johnny set decorator Dorree Cooper also crossed paths with the Bats, working on Batman & Robin. Stuntman Doug Coleman did both Johnny and Batman Forever.

So, what does this mean? Is there some sort of secret we can glean by watching Johnny Be Good? Could this mean that the next installment of the Batman series will involve corrupt football recruitment? 

No, probably not. If anything, I guess you'd chalk this up to coincidence.

The Caped Crusader has a little more in common with an annoying high school quarterback than he realizes. 

And, of course, I have too much time on my hands. As our hero Johnny says in the film, "I vomited Margaritas all the way home."

Well said, sir. Well said.