What's all this then?

The streets of West Hartford are littered with homeless Christmas trees. Such an upsetting sight. According to public works, the town tree recycling program supposedly began on January 5th. If this is true, it hasn't gotten very far, as nearly everywhere you turn there's another tree sitting on the curb, panhandling for ornaments or selling itself for a new light bulb. Some have been sitting for so long that they've sealed themselves to the ground. The saddest sight of all? That would be watching a dry Christmas tree try to tap dance for candy canes. Needles so dry they fall off with every move.

C'mon public works! Get these unfortunate souls off the streets. Grind them up into wood chips.