Lost in the corn, thankfully without a child named Malachi or the ghost of Shoeless Joe Jackson

The Professor and I visited Lyman Orchards in Middlefield today and, after fueling up on cider donuts, attempted to conquer the 4 acre corn maze contained within the grounds. This is pretty much what we saw for the 45 minutes we were inside:

Wait, let's back up a second. I forgot to mention that we also fed the ducks:

I did my best to keep the feed from the geese (vicious creatures), but they were bullies. Big surprise. I truly dislike two types of animals in this world: snakes and geese. Snakes are creepy and geese, well, geese are just mean.

Okay, back to the maze . . .

As we paid for our admission, we learned that the folks at the orchard donate 1 dollar from every ticket sold to the American Cancer Society. Since starting the maze, they have raised over $200,000 for ACS. Not bad for a corn maze. One could even say it is an aMAIZEing total! See what I did there, because corn is also called maize and - never mind . . .

Where was I? Oh yes, the maze.

The course was brutal. And, for a few moments, I thought we were going to have to seek shelter in the stalks for a night of rest. Then the Professor slapped me and brought me back to my senses. Okay, none of that happened. But the maze itself was very fun. It caught us by surprise. The first half seemed really easy, almost too easy, if you know what I mean. Then, as we passed the mid-point, a lot more options were suddenly presented and we found ourselves turned around more often that not. Being a former Cub Scout, I used my brilliant outdoor skills to always get us back to our starting point when we took a wrong path. I did this by making a gigantic "X" in the dirt before we chose a path. Sure, not the "fairest" method, but it did the trick (and, yes, I wiped the ground clean each time afterwards to not ruin the fun for anyone else).

One interesting thing that the orchard provided was a trivia sheet that corresponded to certain signposts contained within the maze. When we got to the post, we read the matching trivia question, which also listed several possible answers accompanied by left or right directions. If we knew the answer to the question we also learned what direction to turn. Sadly, I had the sports question sheet and knew about 50% of the answers. The Professor, on the other hand, had the T.V. and movie sheet, which was much easier, so we breezed our way though using her answers.

We each got a sticker at the finish that we wore proudly, declaring that we SURVIVED the maze (in fact, 7 hours later, I still have mine on). Though we relished in our accomplishment, it seems as if some participants didn't seem to care to flaunt their skills:   

Either that or this R is a really smart letter.

We asked what happened to the corn each year once the maze is closed. Apparently the course is mowed down and the salvageable corn becomes feed that the orchard gives to local farms. So, besides raising funds for charity and helping the orchard make money, the corn is also put to a use. Take that, High Fructose Corn Syrup!

If you plan on checking this place out, note that on the orchard's website you can download coupons to save 1 dollar on each admission. Oh, and you can't pick the corn. So, eat a donut before heading inside. The maze is open until November, but you probably want to go before the punks start to mess it up.