Making the neighbors' Halloween decorations look bad

Ah, the brisk New England morning air of late September is here. The leaves are beginning to turn ever so slightly to browns and oranges. Fall is almost upon us. And, you know what that means -

Halloween decoration time!

Now, I'm not a big decorator. But, I totally dig checking out houses that go whole hog. And, if you're one that gets into the All Hallow's Eve festivities, here are a few must-haves for your front lawn graveyard and your living room horror show.

First up, and least expensive at around $50, is a changing portrait from theghoulishgallery.com. These things are pretty cool and remind me of the stretching paintings found in the Haunted Mansion at Disney World. Maybe you're an art fan and are interested in the Gallery's version of American Gothic?

Or, maybe you're more of a photography person? The folks at the Gallery also make lenticular portraits using sepia photos of creepy children and old men with beards! One of these hanging on your wall or front door is sure to get attention from the neighbors. And, as an added bonus, it can scare away trick or treaters, leaving more candy for you at the end of the night!

Creepy photos not your cup of tea? Well, then perhaps a lawn zombie is for you. This little number can be found at thehorrordome.com:

Isn't he just adorable? I love the way the woman is hugging him in the photo, to show us that he isn't scary, just misunderstood. And for only $279.99, how can you go wrong?

Now, I hear you. "That zombie doesn't move!" you're saying. "How INAUTHENTIC!" Well, for those who need their zombies in action, check out this guy:

He doesn't come cheap. Retail on Dead Fred is $2650. But, when your neighbor has a yard full of stiff, styrofoam zombies, you may just need to plunk down some coin to one-up the competition, right?

While on the subject of expensive props, let's turn our attention to home decor. For you moneybags out there looking to change your normal homes into haunted houses for the holiday, Scare Factory is the place for you. The premise is simple. Basically, they take anything and make a ghoul jump out of it.

For example, here's a TV with a ghoul:

Here's a table with a ghoul:

Here's even a chair with a ghoul:

I think you see where I'm going here.

Your whole house can become props! What a way to welcome your new in-laws! Or the pastor from your church! Or your brand new boyfriend or girlfriend! Of course, these things are pretty elaborate. Each one costs over $3000. But, the memories they bring. Who can put a price on those?

Ok, maybe you've already bought the changing portrait. Maybe your lawn is already littered with moving and non-moving zombies and your home is one jumping ghoul after another. What's a Halloween-junky like you to do?

Buy your own haunted house, of course!

The Blossom Hill Fun Farm in Guelph, Ontario, Canada is for sale. And, despite the name, the place has a haunted house on site that can be yours for only $10,000. Here are a couple images from their website:

All props are included. And, look at it this way, after Halloween, you've got a pretty unique vacation home!

So, there you have it. Halloween gadgets to separate your home from the silly fake cobwebs of the neighbors this season. Get to work. I'll be looking for your set-ups in the upcoming weeks. Don't disappoint!