Fun with SkyMall

SkyMall, for those unaware, is a magazine that you find in every seat-back pocket of every airplane everywhere in the country, nestled between the vomit bag and the safety card (more or less). The pages within contain an eclectic mix of gadgets and doodads, from furniture to electronics. The point of the magazine is to make the flyer shop while suspended five miles off the ground with nothing to keep them interested except for the E! True Hollywood Story of Heidi Klum (I suppose the cabin pressure may make some of the items more appealing).

Anyway, on cross-country flights, I've tried to turn SkyMall into a kind of scavenger hunt activity book. Here, let me give you a few examples:

1. Find the most pathetic animal photo SkyMall contains many, many animal products, from doggy stairs to clandestine cat boxes. And in each ad we get to see a small, furry creature. But what happens when you are asked to find the saddest, most pathetic animal photo in the 148 page catalog? Oh yes, SkyMall scavenger hunt!

Here are my picks for the two most pathetic animal photos from the "early spring 2009" catalog:

 

I think the first photo speaks for itself. The second, though, just really bothers me. The dog looks too perfect, like it knows if it isn't spot on something really horrible is going to happen when it gets home from the photo shoot. 

2. Find the product that most resembles something from Star Trek (but which isn't located on the Star Trek merchandise page) SkyMall actually does contain a full page of Star Trek replica items, but the real hunt is for an actual item that could have appeared on any number of Star Trek related programs. My pick? This head massager, which claims Italian design and Japanese engineering. It also encourages the owner to wear it at the office.

Actually, the front of that kind of has a Robocop-meets-Tron thing going, doesn't it?

3. Construct a fake back-story for a depicted "personalized" family If there's one thing SkyMall offers, it's personalized products. And, more often than not, they choose one or two generic last names to plaster on these item, since we as humans typically cannot fathom what a name on a plaque may look like without visual confirmation. Here's what I'm talking about:

  

The trick is to choose one of these last names and then find every time it appears. Once you find your pictures, you're ready to start telling an elaborate back-story: Dr. Taylor was a complex man. He had a difficult time separating his religion from his job, which lead to many nights drunk in his basement. No amount of head massaging made him feel comfortable in his skin. Medical school didn't teach him how to maneuver through these sort of conflicts. And so on . . .

I suppose that's enough for now. Happy flying, everyone!