The Emperor has taken a lady . . .

The Emperor, our upstairs neighbor, has a girlfriend. This, as far as I can tell, is a new phenomenon. If she existed before last night, she certainly hadn't been to our building.

How can I tell he has a girlfriend? Let me run down the list:

1. There was some sort of disco dance party at around 8:45 p.m. I initially thought this was in excitement for Obama's speech to Congress, but when they seemed to be wandering around at 9:15, I realized I was wrong.

2. The "guest" had a high pitched cackle. They demonstrated this often, as if they were rehearsing for an audition. Perhaps the role they are trying to get is "Horrible, annoying laugh lady."

3. It sounded like the person wore high heels. They seemed especially proud of this, as they walked back and forth, from kitchen to living room to bedroom, about 750 times (I lost count after 725).

Of course, thanks to Tim and Eric, we know that such noise doesn't necessarily mean the visitor is of the female species, but I'm still sticking with my theory of the sex of the guest:

4. Oh yeah, and there was the HORRIBLY LOUD SEXUAL INTERCOURSE! The HORRIBLY LOUD SEXUAL INTERCOURSE THAT LASTED FOR TWO HOURS, taking a pause only for cackle breaks and possible re-hydration (Interesting side fact: I learned that the Emperor must have a fetish for women in heels, as, between grunts and cackles, I continued to hear the clip-clop as the rabbits walked back and forth from the bedroom).

Ugh. We need to find a new place to live.