The benefits of unemployment

Do not let this post title fool you - unemployment is not necessarily a good thing. Trust me. The past few months have taught me this lesson time and time again. That being said, there are some plusses that come with not having a job.

First, imagine yourself at a party. There's a nice cheese platter. Free booze. Good music. Mmmm, this is really good cheese. You really need to try this. Wait - what was I talking about? Right. You're at a party. You are introduced to a new person. They say "hello" and you say "hello." Then, to break the awkwardness, the new person immediately ask the question dreaded by those without work: 

What do you do for a living? 

Now, when this first happened to me, I panicked. What DID I do for a living? Could I say "nothing?" Would I get laughed at if I admitted to not having a job?

Honestly, though, I HATE being asked what I do for a living. These sort of pigeonholes always lead to the dullest conversations. 

But, by not having a job and openly admitting it, I've found that these sort of dull "let's-talk-shop" conversations never get to blossom. I've gotten to talk to people about WHO they are rather than WHAT they do. And, really, these are the best kind of conversations to have.

Second, being unemployed certainly makes one reassess every time they have uttered, "I'd rather be doing nothing right now." We've all said it. Bad day at work. Project driving you up the wall. Boss coming down on you. Yup, at those moments, unemployment seems like a glorious oasis. Palm trees live there with unending glasses of your favorite beverages and all the cheese platter you can eat.

The cheese platter does not exist. 

"I'd rather be doing nothing." I do not think I will ever utter these words again. And, it took unemployment to make me realize this.

Doing nothing is REALLY boring. You want to do nothing? Take a couple vacation days and hang around your house. By the time they end, you'll probably be bored. Doing nothing is the worst. You know the crazy old people in your neighborhood who scream at teenagers who cut through their lawn and eat at crazy hours and wander the sidewalks aimlessly during the day? That's what happens when you have nothing to do. 

It is an ugly sight.

Don't be a crazy old person. You're too young.

So, there you have it. Two positives to take away from the negative that is unemployment. But, being a trained professional, I do not suggest any attempts of such stunts on my readers' part. Leave unemployment to us professionals.

I've got a hankerin' for a hunk of cheese.