Many years ago, back when Veterans Day was still observed on a Monday, I had a run-in with a pumpkin. Well, I shouldn't say "I" had a run-in. Rather, my car had a run-in with a pumpkin. It's kind of hard to explain. Here, maybe this poem can tell the story:
I laid on my couch, watching a show.
The weather was warm and unseasonably fair,
which lead teens outside to an unusual dare.
The Professor was off to snuggle in bed,
While I stayed awake to clear out my head.
Nonsense T.V. was always a cure,
The dumber the better, just to be sure.
When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from the couch to see what was the matter.
Away to the window I flew like a flash,
Tore open the shutters and threw up the sash.
The moon on the teens who ran from below,
My car alarm ringing, an orange sheen glow.
The street had been littered with "pumpkiny" chunks,
My car now a victim of two little punks.
I threw on my sneakers, so lively and quick,
Ran out the door and looked for a stick.
When one wasn't found, I did second best,
And grabbed a crushed pumpkin, held to my chest!
"Now Punk! now, Jerk! now, Stupid Young Brat!
How dare you throw pumpkins! And then run, at that!
To the top of the road! To the end of the town!
I will not stop searching until you are found!"
I gazed at the mess then off to my car,
A dent in its side, another new scar.
So armed with a squash I ran under the moon,
Wearing pajamas, I looked like a loon.
A few minutes, I still saw their backs
I huffed and I puffed and planned my attack.
As I drew in my head, I heard a close sound,
It said, "Stop right there you! And hit the ground!"
As I drew in my head, I heard a close sound,
It said, "Stop right there you! And hit the ground!"
He was dressed in pajamas, from his head to his foot,
And he held up a flashlight the color of soot.
I looked at my hands, still holding the gourd,
He thought it was me! To him I moved toward.
His eyes-how they stared! His hair a brown mop!
If I didn't know better this guy was a cop!
His stubbly chin, his tracksuit all blue,
I then realized the punks got him, too!
"We're in this together! Now, might I suggest,
We go after those punks who made all this mess?"
A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,
Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread.
He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
And flew up the street to go after those jerks.
And I just stood back and looked down at my hands,
Tossed away the fruit, wiped my fingers of strands.
The kids were soon caught, to juvie they went,
For busting some pumpkins and leaving some dents.
As I finally lay, in bed after the flight,
I thought "Happy Veterans Day to all, and to all a good-night!"
So, let this be a warning and a suggestion to those out there who haven't tossed their Halloween pumpkins quite yet. The time is now. Let them go. They served their purpose two weeks ago. Time for them to visit the Great Pumpkin in the sky.
On another note, I just wanted to say thank you to my uncles and cousins, to the grandparents and great-grandparents, and to the men and women throughout time that have had the courage to defend our country. I hope you all had a nice Veterans Day.
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