Car Song, or Always crashing in the same car . . .

A friend of mine recently got into a car accident. While the news of a friend in peril always brings about a certain discomfort, what really shocked me was the news that it was the first accident he had ever been in. When I was talking to the Professor about this, she was surprised by my surprise. She has only been in two accidents.

I, on the other hand, have been, at last count, involved in 10 different accidents. No, wait, 11.

Just call me Crash.

To be fair, most of these accidents did not involve me as a driver. Hell, several didn't involve me in a car. Yes, I have been in accidents on boats, on a bicycle (the dreaded "Magic" incident), on foot, in cars, and in trucks.

I've been in rear-ending accidents twice. Once, I was with my cousin, who was the driver, and her daughter. We had pulled over to talk to our family members who were walking along the road. No sooner did we ask if they wanted anything at the store than a drunken motorcyclist plowed into the back of the car. I saw the cyclist fly over the car and skid to a stop across the street. He was seriously broken, but amazingly survived.

My second rear-ending (yes, it's okay to snicker) came a few years ago. The Professor and I were leaving her parents' house and were sitting at a stop sign when we were struck from behind by a very nervous teenager in a massive pick-up. The back of our car was so crunched that the license plate number from the truck was transfered to my former back bumper. Turns out the kid was driving on what's called a "Cinderella License" and the accident, once reported, probably left him bumming for rides for quite a while.

I've been in a couple minor accidents. An old lady backed into my father and I once at the town dump. My mom clipped the back of a guy once while driving my cousin Jon and myself from a birthday party. That one ended up having a silver lining, though, as the man clipped became our family's accountant.

I've had three "on the job" accidents. Once, in the back seat of a car on the way to a film shoot, we skidded on ice and hit a parked car. Another time, I had just picked up a group of important crew members at a hotel in Boston and sideswiped a cement column in the parking garage. That was embarrassing. But, not as embarrassing at the time that, after a film shoot, I backed my 14' Budget truck into the bumper of a car while trying to drop off massive cans of vegetables and tomato sauce at a food bank. The car, of course, belonged to a man at the food bank getting food. I couldn't have felt worse than I did at that moment. However, the man took it in stride. I suppose life makes you look at things with perspective sometimes.

Twice have accidents involved animals. The first, the "Magic incident," happened while riding my bike. Magic, a collie, darted in front of my tires as I sped down a hill. I braked but still hit him, sending me flying over my handlebars. I was crumpled, but Magic was fine. He just peed all over my bike in fright. To add insult to injury was the fact that Magic's owners, who were walking along the other side of the road at the time of the accident, did nothing to help me, darting instead to the dog. I must say that my bike helmet saved my life that day. I had never cracked a bike helmet before that day. Thankfully, I haven't since, either.

The second animal accident involved a deer. This time, the animal didn't make it out alive. My father was behind the wheel. We were bringing my friend Leigh home after my birthday party. Much like Magic, the deer darted out from the woods. My father swerved. The deer stepped again in front of the car. The next I remember, the car was filling with smoke. The strangest part of that accident was that the first thing the cop that responded asked, after if we were okay, was if we wanted the meat from the animal.

But, the two most frightening accidents I've been involved in did not involve me in a car at all. The first was in a motor boat. The second, my own two feet.

The boat accident happened at a birthday party (what's with all these birthday party accidents?). As the afternoon wore on, a leisurely stroll on the motor boat owned by some friend of the family was suggested. I was probably 10 at the time, so I don't really remember the exact context. Regardless, we all ended up on this boat. At one point, our skipper decided to open the motor up and we really started to fly. It was around this point that a cigarette boat of drunkards buzzed past us. The wake created changed our course and caused us to crash into a bridge support column. I still have scars on my knees from sliding across the deck. My uncle broke his nose. Cousin got a concussion. But, the scary part was trying to get back to dock as the boat slowly took on water. I remember sitting on the dock afterwards, watching the vessel slowly sink to the sandy floor below.

The other accident came just a few weeks ago. I was out running. It was a Sunday morning. As I was passing a parking lot entrance, I noticed a vehicle over my left shoulder. They were slowing to enter the lot, but had seen me and had stopped to let me pass. As I crossed the entrance, another vehicle, traveling in the same direction as the vehicle waiting to turn, slammed into the back of the stopped car as if it didn't even see it, sending the back tires into the air in an explosion of glass. I dove onto the ground. It honestly sounded like a bomb exploding. And the truth is, if I had been five feet further back, the struck car would have landed on top of me. I ended up staying with the folks that had been hit until the police and ambulance came, both out of concern and guilt. I only think that if I hadn't been running, they may have avoided the incident altogether. Thankfully, no one was seriously injured. Just shaken up.

Yep, I've been in a few accidents.

But, what's the point of me writing all of this, besides the fear I'm putting into any of my future insurance providers? Well, when it comes down to it, this is the time of year that a lot of accidents happen. From deer to drunks to ice and snow, the road can be a treacherous place. I mean, look at how many accidents I've been in during or after parties (most of which didn't involve a drop of alcohol). Celebrations can be dangerous.

So, my dear reader, I only ask that you be careful out there. I wouldn't want to hear of any of you getting injured.