Wednesday, November 19, 2008

What's this supposed to mean?

My cat has me trained to give him treats every morning as I get up. He then, having a full belly, marches into the bedroom and settles under the covers for about six hours of sleep.

The other day, while wiping the sleep from my eyes and opening a new package of Temptations for the little monster (really, why aren't they just called Cat Treats? Who are they trying to impress?), I noticed this interesting tidbit selling point printed on the bag:


Wow, natural free range chicken FLAVOR! That's . . . . wait, what is free-range flavor? I could understand if there was actual free range chicken inside, but only flavor?

Checking the ingredients on the package didn't help, as, about 1/2 of the way through the list, well past "chicken meal" and "dried meat by-products," I found "natural free range chicken flavor," nestled between "calcium carbonate" and "vitamins." No parenthesis with an explanation or ingredient breakdown. Just "flavor." But, hey, it's natural, right?

So, does this mean that, in a lab somewhere, a scientist is trying to constantly capture the essence of free range meat? 

"Oh, this one is too grassy!"

"Oh, this one isn't gamey enough!"

"Wait! This one is just right! Call the people at Temptations! The formula is a success!"

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